Why I choose to go 100% SOBER!
Why I choose to go 100% SOBER! And now I feel amazing AF...but I'm still growing.
I made the decision on June 1st to stop drinking for good. I must admit I've tried runs of "re-evaluating" my relationship with alcohol. Yes. That is an actual thing I said. Which just meant that I would cut back or waiting until Saturday night to drink!
Nothing totally major happened that caused me to walk away, but I can tell you this....I was tired of feeling like crap. I woke up just 30 days ago, feeling okay-ish. Went to an early am spin class and literally could feel how tired my body was. I could hear it screaming and pleading with me....
There was a better way to feel.
Since, I have tried a zillion times before to walk away, and I have never succeeded on my own, I played the phone a friend game. I knew she had gone to AA before. She found me a meeting at noon and pepped talked me through it. AND so I went.
In fact I went to AA for an entire week. It was such a humbling experiencing. Then they closed due to whatever the efff is happening, and I was back on my own. Except this time, I could tell I felt different.
I just knew that I deserved to feel better in my skin. AND I just knew I was committed. It's interesting what happens when you decide something. You know when you really decide something, shit changes. You go all in.
I found comfort in journaling. I found even more comfort in prayer and diving deeper into my spirituality. This was an extremely PERSONAL choice and I literally feel zero judgement for anyone who chooses to still drink.
It was just something I needed to do for me....
When I look back at my 20's and of course some of my 20's. 90% of my shitty memories come from being drunk. And as I get older I'm tired of behaviors that are less than ideal being swept under the rug because "they had been drinking".
What I really wanted to see from myself was more integrity, deep connections and less freaking headaches.
I did have some extreme moments of anxiety in a couple of social situations and honestly...regarding the whole structure of my life.
I started instantly seeing new anxieties pop up. I had spent years...at least 15 years numbing out my real emotions with booze. I had never truly dealt with them.
If you are thinking about going SOBER here are a few things that helped me:
- I had to get deeply personal with my choice. Meaning that small comments from friends or a big one from my husband, they couldn't rattle me. I had to do it ALL for me! And no one's opinion needed apply here!
- You kind of totally have to re-write all of your habits. If you have used alcohol to cope, celebrate, connect, chill out, all the c's and maybe even some sex...then you have to figure out how to do all of those things without the booze. SO >>> I made a sober bucket list. What would I do today if I felt 100% the bomb and what could I do without feeling bleh a couple of times a week?
- Be patient with yourself. Take it ONE day and one circumstance at a time. If you have these glorious expectations of nailing that goal with zero problems, you are in dream land girl.
- Have a plan! I gave myself full on permission to say NO when I got invited out or over for drinks. I didn't even explain myself. I just said I really appreciated the invite and couldn't make it.
- Give yourself permission to fall in love with your life. I knew this was something I didn't love about my life. So I cut it out. It was honestly one of the bravest things I've done in a long time.....and I'm pretty proud of that.
I can tell you this much. My body feels a 100% different and in just thirty days I've seen a huge shift in my mental state and so much more!
AND my final bomb ass tip-
I actually used and created the Be Your Own Girl Crush 30 Day Guide just for moments like this. When you want to take HUGE leaps and MAJOR changes when it comes to loving your life even more than you do now.
Trust me if I can do this...YOU CAN TOO!!! And the guide can totally help.
Questions about my sober journey or where to start...I'm happy to answer them for you!